I'm ChanGing

I've been trying to work things out, in many aspects of my life, and it seems like I have just been making them harder on myself than they really are. As far as work, I'm doing what i can. I CANT tackle one that I would work at everyday. I know that I HAVE to put in my time at Hi-Tech, no matter what. (To make up for those lost finances, I know i'll come up with something..... i always do) With school, I JUST spent some time studying, doing some homework, making some flash cards, and reviewing, since I wont have the whole evening to do that. (due to Hi-Tech) And as far as my relationship with bobby, I'm still unsure of what i'm doing, but the last few days have made it a little easier on me, especially yesterday. Well, last night me and Bobby went out to dinner after i got off work. I drove out there to see him and we went to Chili's. (one of many restaurants i have never been to) And, well, it was the FIRST time in a LONG time that we just sat... and talked... and chilled....Without yelling, arguing, being upset at one another or someone else, and just feeling comfortable and at ease. It felt so good because i Didn't feel any pressure.... any pressure to do or say anything. Yet at the same time, i still dont feel the way i used to. For the longest, I had been stressin' over this and trying to figure out if this is what i want. i've concluded that I CANT stress over something like that. Considering that many other things come first before a relationship (at least for me), i can't deal with it. Bobby saw that i wasn't in the highest spirits, due to everything that's going on. I think he knows, or at least slight understands, that I'm uneasy about "us" as well. And with me making that assumption, i hope that he will be on my side with the decisions that i make. otherwise, i'm going to end up needing more space than i'm already insisting. I mean, i dont know what it is, but more and more im wanting to fully concentrate on school and separate myself from the majority of things that i include myself in. is this a sign of increasing maturity? a change of heart? or is it a change in direction and focus for the moment? maybe a little of everything.... i dont know what i'll end up doing, but im assuming only time will tell.