Bad News

Well, I've got good news and bad news... WHich do u want first? Hmmm.... Let's go with the good news first. Well, yesterday I got my acceptance packet to study abroad!!!! YAAAAY!!! I was so happy. I haven't even read the acceptance letter yet. Confused? Let me explain. My mom called me yesterday after I got out of class and she said that I got a packet from Webster University. I'm like, "huh? Go ahead and open it, ma'." So she opened it. " To Shara Underwood..... somethin' somethin'.... congratulations, you have been accepted to study abroad at the Cha-am Campus in Hua Hin Thailand... blah blah blah... blah blah blah." I had already heard what was most important in that letter. Im accepted!!! When she continued to read, my heart just started racing faster, something it hasn't done in a long time. I was relieved and excited. Anxious because of the letter, yet comforted by the letter at the same time. Hmmm, let's see....oh! So... I MIGHT be able to afford the Eclipse now. I think I might sell some of my stock in Ameren, and that way I would be able to pay the car notes that I would have while i'm in Thailand. Secondly, me and my dad sat down and drew up a budget for me (which sux, but either i want a car or i dont) and I'm praying that it will work. so... i still dont quite know the status on this issue. Moving on. um, i got an email from this guy named John about a week and a few days ago about a work study position that was open. it would be 4 evenings a week, which would work out GREAT!!! This is my last week at Hi-Tech so i would need another job ASAP. It would work out perfectly. What else? Well, me and bobby tried to work it out and decided that we're going to give it our all in keeping this together. I'm tired of fighting and i dont want to do it anymore. i told him that i cant continue like this... like what we're doing to each other almost everyday. so... i was both relieved, and worried. So that's a little bit of good news that I thought I would share with ya'll. Moving on to the "bad" news. Well, let's get this straight. It's not BAD, its just not good or positive. It's frustrating news. Anyway, moving on to it. Now that I have been accepted to study in Thailand, I have to come up with quite a bit of money for a deposit to hold my spot. Secondly, I have to get a Visa, which I am KINDA in the process of getting, however, that shyt takes forever. SEcondly, I not only have to try to save for a car, but spending money and basic living-off-of money as well. Let's see... the workstudy job. The guy john STILL has not called or emailed me back about the job yet. It's only been a day, but i even called him back today after i got out of class and the person at the front desk said he was "busy". that's exactly what i got yesterday b4 i left him a long message on his voicemail. well, i email ed him back again, so i guess all i can do is wait in the meantime. either way, i hate the run around, whether or not i'm giving or getting it. UGH!!! Whatever. Um... well, with me and bobby tryin to work it out, i'm hoping for the best. however, i still have this little thought in my head that is scared things wont work, and in turn, bobby will be even more upset with me that it wont this time around. thing is, the way i look at it, i think that if its supposed to happen, it will. no matter if its the 3rd, 4th, or 5th time around. know wat i mean? but he doesnt look at it this way... it's all or nothin' w/ him on almost everything, u know? not only that, but i still believe he is somewhat set in his ways. this is one of the things that creates a conflict between us. Well, i know i am stubborn as well and should be blamed too, but right now, i dont want someone dictating to me everything that i should do. im young, and thats a good thing. it gives ME time to do what i want to do and figure out who i am right now and who i want to be.... either way, i hope things eventually work out and we come to some kind of conclusion soon. Third off, i started bleeding a little bit today and i am thoroughly confused. WHY!?? i'm not even finished w/ this set of pills. wtf is goin on? my body has been actin really weird lately and i'm not feelin this..at all. ive been really f*ckin weird (emotionally) lately, i wake up at all hours of the night, i cant concentrate like i normally do, and i struggle to keep from overloading myself. Damn, why does good news always have to come with bad news?