I Cant BelieVe

still can't believe I applied at Express. I can't believe i went in for an interview there yesterday. I can't believe i have ANOTHER interview in the same mall at a different store this Friday. Wth? Hmmm. I dont know. Ive never done anything in retail before... Maybe trying something new isn't such a bad thing.Well, I woke up with sleep in my eye. I washed my face and replaced it with soap in my eye. I went to class, I just came from class, and my eye is still watering. Damn. It's the first time in the past 11 hours that I have thought of something else other than what happened last night. I went on an emotional rollercoaster. It was something that made my heart beat so fast, and gave me no time to think. I could only respond. I put every single thing I felt on the table last night. I was brutally honest, and I felt I had to be. I felt that I needed to make it clear exactly how i felt about Bobby, and where we were in our relationship. To me, it felt as though we were continuously taking more and more steps back. I couldnt' take it anymore. My heart was hurting, and it only hurts more now. I let go of a very good man, but the love has to be there like it used to in order for it to work. Otherwise, the relationship would continue to be one-sided. It would be wrong for me to play it off like everything is cool when it's not. I'm still in shock about the whole thing. I still can't believe it just happened! But it did. Hmm.. My head is in a daze, i guess. I hope i did the right thing, but how can u ever know what's best? I just have to listen to my heart. And I did last night. It told me that if i continued, this would only hurt worse in the long run. Man, we are no longer together. (I know, that's all i can seem to say) :-\. I have a feeling that we wont be far from each other...... Im not sure exactly what that means, but that's how i feel. As far as our underlying friendship, and the relationship we had up until now, i feel that it will be able to pull us through in the future. But right now is not the time for us, it seems. I grew tired of the arguing, the yelling, the frustration. I want to be happy w/ him... none of those other things. We both need time to figure out what's most important to us, why we got into it like we did, the relationship we have to work on, b4 we can really be together. I can still see myself with Bobby down the road. I really can. But i feel that one of the things holding us back is insecurity. insecurity is Killing us right now. I need to take myself out of that, as well as check myself. But I can still see myself marrying this guy. Hopefully this means somethin. Man, I still can't believe it.......