Pondering

So sugar daddy calls me again on Sunday. Now it just seems like a regular occurance. "How is your day, blah blah blah". He always sneaks in a proposal, which I think is very funny. Give it up, man. Moving on. Monday wasn't very different. Went to classes, did work study. But workstudy yesterday was not boring this time! (I know, i know. crazy right?) Well, that's cause someone who was in a night class just came out in the hall and talked to me for like an hour about absolutely nothing. I was so happy to have a visitor. (this is so sad ) Usually I'm just sitting there by myself for a good 4, 4-1/2 hours....by myself.... thinking...doing homework....planning....analyzing shyt....you know how i do. I was thinking about my money issues. It makes me want to cry sometimes. I'm just stressin so much over this. what am I gonna do? Looking at my school schedule and where i ALREADY work, it's getting increasingly difficult for me to get the greatest amount of hours. ugh. It's so frustrating. Thing that I have to remember is that I'm already working as much as I can, yet I'm looking to work more.What is my PROBLEM?! i really dont know. I guess i'm just used to a certain amount of income that tended to take care of things, and that amount i need has increased. I mean, i'm gonna be out of this country for 5 whole months!! I can't work, i can't do nothin! SHIT. Man, by the time i come bak, i know im gonna be hustlin my ass off. Maybe this experience will be good for me. It will give me a chance to, I guess, "catch my breath" before I break my neck. Hmmm. I don't know. No matter what, i'm gonna have to strive hard enough when i come back to pay for that car and get an apartment. I dont care what it takes, i'm gonna make it happen. AND i'll have a dog, too. Well, here i am analyzing everything again and stressin out. I hate it, but it's just a daily occurance for me now. (Pondering) Who knows? Maybe that'll never change.