Okay?

Am I okay? I really dont know. The scariest and strangest things have been happening over the last few days. Well, we all know about Saturday morning. No need to go back to that. Sunday morning rolls around. It's 4 something A.M. I get a call from. It could be no one else calling me but Bobby. "Hello?....." "I thought u said u weren't going to write about what happened yesterday?" I said, "No, I said I would think about it. (I didn't say what i was going to do for sure) "WHy are u tryin' to make me look crazy!?" Whether or not I wrote about it, actions speak louder than words. It is what it is. He did that to himself. "Tell me the truth about josh". I'm thinking to myself, huh?! We just went through this yesterday. It felt like beating a dead horse, u know? I was pissed. Why do u keep asking the same f*cking questions?!?! "And I know u f*cked thomas at least 4-5 times. I talked to him again!!!" I just KNEW he was lyin. There is no reason for Thomas to say something like that. What would he gain from it? "And I know u f*cked josh!" "You know how i know?! You know how i know?!" I just hung up the phone. bye the time I hung up, i KNEW it was over b4 us. Why? Because he did something he SWORE he would never do. He called me out of my name. Up until that very minute, nothing that he had done had ever scared me. But he did at 4 something on that Sunday morning. I just started crying. I couldn't contain it. Fear actually hit me for the first time. Why did things have to go astray like THIS? This damn crazy!? Like, who does that? I was hysterical. I just started calling every person i could think of in my phone. I called Dub, but got no answer. DAMN. I called Ryan and he actually answered the phone. By this time, it's about 5-5:30. "You need to call down! U KNOW how that nigga is!! Just dont mess wit 'im." Everything was going In one ear and Out the other. I just needed someone to be up wit me at this point. I knew he was falling alseep so i didn't hold him from it. I called Thomas. "Why were u putting up wit this?" I still can't answer that question. "Look, maybe we can just chill tomorrow or something..and talk,u know? GEt some sleep. U have to be at work in less than 4 hours!!" I finally forced myself into sleep.So after ALL this, Sugar Daddy calls again Saturday afternoon. I'm like, wtf. "Since u don't like the idea of me doing that, how about this... $2,000, no strings attached, blah blah blah... blah blah blah". "Let me just eat u out". i'm just like hell no and we got off the phone. Am I okay after all this weird shyt?! I really think i'm gonna be screwed up for a while. All these people keep calling me now with their problems, but i cant even help them. I can't even help myself. When is this cycle gonna end? I guess I have to make it by myself. Even if i'm successful, that still doesn't guarantee that i'll be okay