Mad... AnD iN a BaD MooD

Okay, yeah. Today is Thursday. It's 11:16pm. I'm sitting here, wasting time. Today was useless... Didn't do anything worth importance, for real. Been in a weary mood all day. The night before last i think i was on the treadmill til like 1am. Why do i work out @ the weirdest times? Anyway ,today, around 4pm, Ryan called and asked if i would go to Stir Crazy with him. I had never been there with him, so I figured this would be something different. But whatever. That was a waste of time, too. Went to the store, and on my way back, Bobby called me. I wish we could've talked longer, but he was on his way to work. Yesterday we were on the phone and he was giving me the third degree about not coming to see him. Until yesterday, that always made me feel guilty, as if I wasn't doing all i could to visit him. But then it occured to me.... I was doing the very best i could and he could do better. Yeeahh!!! He could! You see, normally the response i would get from him is, "well, u know i don't have a car right now". Me being completely aware of this, i just simply accepted that and left it alone. Then it HIT me! Why can't he come over before he goes to work? Hmmm... I've had it. I really am doing all i can. I can't go out there to him every couple days. I mean, I would if i had it like that, u know? But i don't. My car isn't brand new. The miles on it are many. And gas is very expensive, as everyone knows. Man, oh man. Why is it so hard for me to just come out and SAY those words point blank, instead of just giving the same excuse of "because I just can't", or "i'm too busy".(even though me being busy is true way too often). i don't know. I think i'm scared of coming off as an asshole, even though i still tend to do that.Tsk. I've just been frustrated ever since this morning. I guess part of it was due to the fact that i knew i was going to start my period sometime today and i definitely did. 'Round 8, while i was waiting for this event to take place, I went outside and washed my car. Yeah, i handwashed it. Man, this is the worst time of the month for me EVERY freakin' month. i hate it. Hmmm. Well, my first day of work is tomorrow, and i'm very nervous. I don't know what it's gonna be like! Hmmm. Ah well. I guess ill just have to wait and see... Im goin to bed. L8er.