F*ck It....

Well... today was an uneventful day, to say the least. The only good part was that i spent it with my best friend. First, she came over for a bit, then we headed to The Outback to eat. I swear, i think i waitress was gay, 'cause she was looking at me a LiTtLe too hard. I mean, u ALL know that if that's the way u roll, it's cool with me. But i wasnt expecting her to look at me that tough. Well, i started getting pretty bummed about the whole dinner situation when it came time to pay. it was like, we JUST had enough to pay for the food, and hardly anything for a tip. Man, this doesn't make any sense..... When we were leaving there, i just started thinking. I was thinking about how I want to be able to leave a decent tip, u know? How i want to be able to just pay for things without worrying about a measly 50 bucks or somethin, u know? This is sad, it is REALLY sad. I swear, Sometimes I just want to just say "f*ck it", but i know i would never quit on myself. Moving on.... well, earlier today i went to work and once i got off i mowed the lawn. it was a very good workout for me and i was glad to do it. Man, i haven't sweat that much in a hot minute. (that def. means i need to get back on the treadmill) Well, once i made it back inside, I called bobby and he sounded like he was in a hurry. It was about 7 o'clock and he was getting ready for work. i was kinda bummed, but i know he's gotta make some money of his own, so i didnt hold him. After that, whitney came over my house and that's when we went to OutBack. Once we left there, i started thinking about earlier in the day when i called someone else who is somewhat important to me...Thomas. Yes, i said it. Thomas. And considering the latest turn of events, with him losing his job, i really feel for him right now. Well, I DID until today. I called him to see how he was doing and whether or not i could visit once i was finished with the lawn. well, he said "yes", but after he took a nap. He said it would only be an hour. This was at about 1pm today. Here it is, 1:36 am, Saturday. and guess who still hasn't recieved a phone call?Yeah, W T F?!?!!? i dont understand.....it seems like no matter who it is, it's always on someone else's time, other than my own. At first i figured i should just leave it alone because of everything in his life that is going on, but then i changed my mind. No matter WHAT im going through, i can at least give my friend a call to say "what's up" or "me seeing u isn't going to work today", or SOMETHIN. I would still be there for that person, as well. I have a feeling that he would to. But no, not today. "F*ck it", i say. I'm not going to waist my time until people are willing to spend some on me. i dont have time to wait around for people to act right. For all my friends who i care dearly about, please, don't do me. Okay? Highschool is over. We're in college. Act like it. Let's act mature. No more petty shyt. I dont' have time for it.... Im just working on getting my finances together. Besides, whose gonna take care of me, but me? Not my parents! Not my sister! Nobody but myself. F*ck iiiiiiiiiiit.......