Wit's End

I've had it... I have had it up to HERE!!! I can already tell u that i'm gonna be fightin' with my mom.... it's not gonna be pretty, and it's not gonna be fair. But it's gonna happen. Fuck the bullshit. She's makin' it hard for me to come to her with anything. I swear! Yesterday I went home to talk to her about the whole apartment situation, as well as to bring some of my stuff back to the house. Once I brought up the apartment subject, it was like she had an attitude with me. To make it so bad, it happened again today. My god! Did I really deserve all of that? All I wanted her to do was hear me out. Until last week, there was nothing said about sophmores being able to live in the dorms. That's my reasoning for disregarding the information and sticking to my plan of getting an apartment. Apparently when ma was calling about financial aid information, she called about that, too. She goes, "Why are you trying so hard to get an apartment." I'm like, "because.... right now that's my only option?" After that, she basically told me she didn't know what was going on in my life and that i keep things from her, and she's not involved in my life anymore, and blahzey blahzey. Well, as far as me keeping things from her, I'm sure there's things that EVERY SINGLE child keeps from their parents, u know? WTF. Does she WANT me to tell her everything? I think not. Does she really want to know some of the things I started doing once i hit college? Why the hell would i tell her some of that shit? I don't tell her what I THINK she should know, but the things that are most important FOR her to know? Na mean? What kind of sense does this make...."Yeah, ma, i started fuckin'. Yeah, ma, i stay out till 6 in the mornin. Yeah ma, watever watever. Hell-to-the-mother-fuckin'-naw. I'm good on that idea. I'm not about to make her think even worse of me. I know she cares about me 'cause i'm her baby, but she should be more interested in how i'm doing in school and knowing that things are well. But whatever.... man... I am not looking forward to moving back in with her.. I swear. I pray to the Holy Father that I am NEVER in that house. EVER.... unless i'm sleepin, eatin', or videogamin'. (yeah, i'm a dork) I think i will be having company over as much as possible over the summer until i move out again. I don't know what i would do without my male friends. They all seem to get along with her better than i don't (tsk tsk tsk) ... I tellin' u, ever since I was 13, we have never been able to really get along in close quarters, and this year will be no different. It will be harder. I swear, after this summer... I don't plan to live with her again if i don't have to. I feel like a caged bird, u know? But don't get me wrong. I love her to death. I love that woman with everything i've got. I would KILL for that woman. I would even DIE for that woman, but damn. She wonders why i can't tell her everything. she doesn't WANT to hear everything! Secondly, I know that as soon as I tell her something, she will judge my actions instead of guiding them... F*ck it. I'm at my wit's end with her....until this cage bird sings........