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It's Monday morning at 1am. Why am i always writing after midnight? Yeah, Idk either. Saturday and Sunday went pretty well. Saturday I layed low, played video games and and watched tv. Around 3:30 am, Bobby came over and we just watched TV and talked. Again, it started off awkward, but I really dont think it was mainly on my part. However, I still try to make things as comfortable as possible. When he was getting ready to leave, we walked to the door and I gave him a big hug. It felt so nice. I have to admit.... I miss being in his arms. But I have to look at the big picture here. One, I'm leaving in less than 2 months. Two, I dont see the point in necessarily trying to start over in a relationship right now. 3, I sometimes have other thoughts about what life will be like there, what I'll be doing, who i will befriend, who i will meet, etc etc. And four, I am always look at other possibilities. Who says that he wont have a change of heart by the time i come back? Who says that he wont meet someone while I'm away. I mean, really... 5 months isn THAt long, but its still a good amt of time 2 be gone. LEt's see... January 2nd to about May 18th or 19th. 140-ish days. 16 Weeks. However u split it up, that is time for so much to happen. We have talked about getting bak together when i come back, but I dont know if it would be smart to just jump back into working on relationship after just an experience. Who knows, though? Who knows how much I will have changed. Who knows how much of me will have stayed the same? No one knows. I guess all I can do is wait and see. I've decided to stop trying to plan every single little detail of my life out ahead of time. I just have to let things happen like i used to. ANywAy... Today I made a breakthrough. I did my hw! HAHAHAHA. But seriously, I have really being doing what I said I was. Focusing on school work has become my number 1 priority and it hasn't changed. After I got off of work, I chilled out for a little while then cleaned up my bathroom and most of my room. I even straightened and organized up my closet! Geeze. I did the majority of my homework for the next 3 days and now im starting to shut down. Ah well. This is what I said i was going to do so I can't back down now. I can't back out of something that I told myself i was going to do. I can't get below a B in any. I can't fail myself. Well, tomorrow is a new day and I hope things go well. I have a job interview @ 3:15 tomorrow afternoon. I hope i get the job. I applied @ Earl Bissinger's in the Galleria. Man, if i get it, guess wat a lot of people will be getting for christmas, if ne thing? Naw, for real! I can't afford gifts this year. It hurts my heart but it's the truth. But i would hope people will understand that, u know? ANd for family who DO plan on giving me something, it better not be ugly ass sweaters or vests or gloves. What the hell am i gonna do w/ that shyt?! WEar it for a few days then leave for the beach?? I swear, I can see an aunt of mine being like, "ooooh my gosh. I didnt know that u weren't gonna be here to wear this $5 dollar sweater that's been worn b4!" P-Lease. Hopefully most folks'll give me cash or somethin. Otherwise, I'm gonna throw a tantrum. Normally i would accept it and go about my business, but c'mon. I wont be able to work or do ne thing but go to school for 5 months. Hmmm. We'll see. Welp, looks like my brain is shutting down. Check u l8er.