DeEp ThOugHt... ConCenTraTiOn NeeDed

It's Thursday morning and I find myself in deep thought a lot more than I used to. I've been thinking about my life, my "friends", and the current situations that have presented themselves. But mainly my "friends". This is the conclusion I have come to. One, I dont have a car right now. Two, my real friends have already put effort into seeing me, trying to see me, being there for me, and even taking me places I have to go. And those that aren't probably wont be tryin to f*Ck with me @ all, now that I dont have my transportation.. Then i thought about ALL last year up to this point. I was there for every single person that entered my life, in reality. And with that being the reality, I believe that it would only be right for those to be there for me, u know? But life is a little more complicated, a little more complex, a little more difficult. I'm perplexed at the situation, but I'm glad that I came to this conclusion now rather than later. Bunny, someone that I met last year... Well, last year we would talk, chill, hang out, go for drives aimlessly. Do I even hear her voice ne more unless i put in effort? No.She may send an IM saying, "hey wat's up", but ne thing else? No But i know she's just as busy as i am, as far as both of us having three jobs so i dont even bother her about it. However, i think u know wat im getting at. And i told her how i felt about it. We still havent finished that convo but it's not serious enuff to huff and puff about. And whitney, there are no excuses and no exceptions. I dont see a need to fill a void after getting "i kinda miss u" in IM messages. A call, a visit, or something along those lines are what I look for from someone who is supposed to be my best friend, or a friend in general. Anyone can get on aol for a second and say, "hey, wat's up?" But im neither mad, nor angry. I guess u could say a little dissappointed. I just think it's interesting that I would call her up, randomly, and say,"i'm coming over and we're just gonna go to the mall" or "we're just gonna get out of the house and drive". Since i have no longer put forth that effort, i does not happen. So now I see where i stand. If i dont make it happen, it's not gonna happen. PerIod. That's the simple truth that I have come to and it's perfectly ok, because it says something about me. It says that I'm a go-getter than if i want it to happen and put enuff work towards it, it will happen. Speaking of making things happen, the school actually did something that put a smile on my face. There is now a semester in Japan now! SWEET ASSS!!!! So... depending on how things go after thailand, i might go this fall coming up. If not, i'll either go my last yr of school in the fall or just try to get the japanese intership during the summer. Tight!!!! Ill be living with a host family and be forced to use everything i know, see what i'm sayin? Gawd, i was so happy to hear that. But ne way, back to what i was talking about prior to that news... So yeah, i noticed that a lot of people stepped up to tell me that "shara, u r important to me" without even using words. I'll give an example of a few.... Matt is there ne time i need to talk or chill or complain about my roommate (lol. it's not the bad, for real). Christine is always there to say something retarded and make me laugh. Kelly is the intellectually sarcastic one that i love to exchange wits with. Bobby comes to visit and tell me that everything is going to be okay. He's still my protector.. Puerto Rican (lol Damien) is there ne time i dont have transportation to get 2 where i have to go and goof around with. Dee is there for me to use my computer knowledge on, as well as supply me with free Marletto MEALS! Toye is always there for support. Allison is there for me to compare problems with. We're goin throught the same situations and it's good 2 have someone to relate with. (ps...we'll make it, babe!)And ryan is there for me for a swift kick in the ass that this is life.. I hope ya'll continue to stay down for me, 'cause u know i will be there to do the same for u.... as well as ya'll who i miss even more. There's my deep thought.