PoRn AnD cOnFuSiOn

I dont understand what's going on with my emotions lately. They're all over the place! For one, I've been pretty sick. Two, i started my period, so things are already going downhill from there. Not only that, but it seems as though things between me and Bobby are changing. He used to call everyday. WE used to talk EVERYDAY, about absolutely nothing. But now we don't. I sensed this change a few days into the week. I could sense that something was wrong, however, i decided to wait before I said anything. By the end of the week, things didn't look like they were going back up the hill, and i confronted him about it. He told me that "it just seems like we argue all the time and im tired of it. I just want to be with u and it's like u dont care." I felt bad after that, and hoped he really didn't feel like that. Bummer( i think things will smooth themselves out l8er, though). Something that has been bothering me for a while now is the fact that he wants to go into law enforcement. Everytime i think about it, i cringe. I can't quite explain it in words, honestly, but that's how i feel. I wish he would change his mind. It worries me all the time, i swear. hmph! Sometimes i will stay up and just worry, worry about anything that could go wrong with him out on the job. HHhhmmm! Talk about uneasyness. moving on.... Well, why did i find out a few days ago that one of my friends that i used to go to highschool with is in porn now? YEah, talk about something that will make u say, "Wha?" I was shocked, stunned. But at the same time, I WASNT surprised...AT ALL! Weird. Well, moving on.... So I worked last night and the craziest man came in. Picture this somewhat-skinny guy who looks like Steven Spielberg come in to get something to eat. Imagine that he has already had a couple glasses of wine before you started serving him. From the looks of it, he seems pretty nice and seems like he won't give you any trouble..... Well, this is the character I had. He had a total of 4 glasses of wine and 3 bowls of chilli before his entree' even came out. Everytime i would walk by, he would say, "you're gorgeous". I'm thinking o......k and kept walkin. I didn't think anything of it because i didn't have time to. Eventually the man was finally finishing his entree... and THATS when he hit me with the weirdest convo i've ever had with anyone. First he was talking about how he separated from his wife 2 years ago and that i was the most gorgeous person he has seen in the long... I'm like, "oh, it's probably the wine talking". then he proceeds to say "Don't take this the wrong way, but...". EVERYONE knows that as SOON as someone says that, it CANT be good. And it wasn't. "You are so gorgeous I would love to have your children." My stomach D R O P P E D. I was like, "ugh...". "Mmmmhmmm" came out my mouth as I handed him his check. I was thanking God he was getting ready to go. Then he pulls this little bill out of his pocket. I couldn't make out what it was, but it looked like a $5. WrooooONG! Let's try a $50. I was like, "um...sir?" He's like, "I know. I know. But you were very nice to me and u put of with me. Well, I'll be in room 939 the next couple days. After that, he shook my hand and left. I was speechless for a second. Seriously, I was. GOD!!! What is WRONG with people?!?! Idk, man. But I thank god for it. I really do. I've gotta get my car fixed and I need ALL the money i can get. And I STILL have that $170 phone bill i gotta pay. With only $300 or so in the bank, i gotta do what i can. Things get a little crazier. I got a call l8er that night from my home skillet JonJon. i was happy to hear from him, since it had been a few days. Unfortunately, he and my other friend Anthony were in a terrible car accident. Jon JUST got a new car and now it's totalled. It flipped over into a creek, after he passed out at the wheel. I was SO scared when he told me that. I was like, "if u felt yourself growing tired, why didn't u pull over?!!" "I wasn't, though... I was actually hype as we were leaving anthony's house. And I WASNT drunk, EITHER". Well, once the car flipped, john was unconscious until anthony pulled him out the car. That made my heart skip a beat. "I swear, i think the seatbelts saved us." Man, that worries me. He just simply PASSED OUT at the wheel, with nothing wrong with him. Geeeze. All my friends seem to be going through some shit. From whit's car acting crazy and not even STARTING now, to a cold, to people going into porn, to others going into the hospital, to my period, to some people picking dangerous occupations, to others people wanting to make babies, to my car, the confusion never ends......