CoNfUsEd

Okay, here we go. i must be the most confused person in the universe right now. Some things are leveling out, while others are gradually spiraling out of control. Well, today I finally got my class schedule today, finally got all of my books, AND put my schedule together at work. Well, after doing this, I looked at my horoscope which says, "You may find it hard to take a realistic approach to your emotions today, PEACH. A sensitive issue is apt to be pulling on you in such a way that is leaving you feeling like you are way out in left field in terms of the way in which you relate to others. You might want to consider letting someone else take the lead for once and allow equilibrium to form before the next decision is made." Wow. Maybe i DO need to let someone worry about it. For some reason I can't right now. Let me think. Yesterday I was on my way to Bobby's house, and I got a call from Thomas. I didn't pay attention to the call, but i saw his name pop up. Once i made it to his house, Bobby gave me this ridiculously cute pillow. It had puppies all over it and it's as comfortable as hell. After that, I laid down on it and started my getting-sleepy stage. I DID end up falling alseep, as usual. I laid down and bobby was ready to "play around". We started kissing, and hands started to wander a little. I couldn't continue and even now i still don't know why. He asked me what was wrong all i could say was "i don't know". GOD!!! wat's goin' on. I left around 1 am. This evening, I was going through my phone's call log (such as missed and incoming calls). Why was Thomas' phone # missing? I'm like... wtf. Instead of a missed call from Thomas, i see a missed call from a number that looked really familiar. Then I realized that it was his number. I scrolled down my phonebook and i see that his number has been deleted. Weird, i think. I asked bobby about it and he's like, "NO!!! What are u talkin' about?" I'm like, damn, i just asked. For some reason, i didn't believe him so i sent him a text saying that "i wouldn't be mad if he did". Well, he called right away to say no and asked if there was ANYTHING else i wanted to ask. Sounded like an attitude so i said no and then "goodbye". Things are just really weird in my head right now. Could someone have set me up as far as the Xanga is concerned? How does he just run across something like that? Only like 3 or 4 people know about my xanga...WTF? It's not like you can just go to google and say "shara's journal" and expect to find mine right away. I'm so confused. And my phone... a phone number doesn't delete itself. Did i do it? I'm NOT sTUPid!!! I'm NoT craZy! So these questions are starting to haunt me.... why is this shyt so crazy? why cant things go bak to the way they were... without me freakin' out and getting upset? I don't know, but i've decided to just let it all god. i can't move forward if i stay stagnant, right? Exactly. Besides, i'll end up just staying cOnFuSed.