What the Hell?

Remember how a few entries ago I said that I didn't feel a need to spill all my guts at one time? Well, I still don't. lol. JK. But I'm gonna tell u ne way. Well, I had mentioned my friend Jin, who was this really tall Chinese guy that I had taken interest in. WE went out to dinner once and have good conversations all the time, but last night i realized that there was no point in trying to pursue this young man. For one, he seems too scared to take initiative. Two, he doesn't seem to be worth my time. Three, he gets drunk a little too much. I've been completely turned off by some of the guys here, man..... Why? I'm not sure what it is but everyone is just BoRiNg. i met this guy named Jason a few weeks ago and the more i talk to him the weirder and weirder he seems to get. He's already failed the "normal" test. Hmmm. Looks like I'm gonna be single for a little while. Oh my goodness. guys are just acting so STUPID. This weekend I was supposed to go to Bangkok on a leisure trip, but I ended up getting something peirced the day before, so that deverted my trip of rest (and i'm not telling u what it is). Instead, I made my way to my friend Shar's room, (a guy's name: say it like share) who turned 23 that day. Tell me why he had a party in his room and it felt like every single person at our University seemed to be there? The dudes were straight trippin out. Dudes were wrestling all over the floor, some of them knocking over lamps and drinks and shit. Then the rest of the drunk people have a habit of touching when they shouldn't be. My friend Sar had the nerve to get all up in my grill and touch me like he had a mothaF*ckin' problem. I'm like, "WHAt the HEll?" THEN we've got Zach who was so drunk he called me a bitch for no fucking reason. U know what i did right? I smacked the shit out of him!!! Then I proceeded to slam him into Shar's closet. Mmmhhmmm, everybody was ready to bang in this guy's room. Yeah, well needless to say I was pissed. Moving on.... People have been hitting my cell up a lot lately. Last week, guess who had called me? Thomas. It's not the fact that he called, but what he asked me. He actually asked me move into a new apartment with him when i get back. I'm thinking to myself, "are u f*cking kidding me?!" "What The Hell?"You're actually trying to ask me to move into an apartment with u, a person i am neither going out with nor talking to like that?! What! Oh god.. He was dead serious. And i'm like, "uh, no?". Looking at my weekend, I've made up my mind that I'm not settling for anything less than what i want. I'm not going to waste my time on people who disrespect me in any way. Whether i'm in the right or in the wrong, i do not deserve to be called out of my name, disrespected, nor being completely taken advantage of. I won't settle for it because I deserve better. I've decided to carry myself in this manner for the rest of my life. This weekend has taught me that I'm stronger than i think i am. I'm nowhere near perfect, and i'm not scared to admit that. I think that's what makes me me. But I'm trying. I'm not afraid of admitting when i'm wrong ne more, but I won't stand for someone who believes THEY can do NO wrong. It's not right. I've been thinking about STL. I know some things will never be the same between me and some people at home. But all i can say to that is "ah well" to that. I'm trying to better myself through this experience and be the best woman I can be.my Real women will be humble. Artificial ones won't. Real women will admit to their flaws. Artificial ones can't. Real women will admit when they have done wrong, when they have made mistakes. Posers don't know how to. Hmmmm.... Though I learned a lot about myself this weekend, it still gave me a reason to say, "WhAt The Hell?"