Onward and Upward

Look at my horoscope for today: Your horoscope for October 24, 2013 "Your intellect and your way with words have served you well in the past, and now all signs are that you will progress more rapidly toward your goals. Advancement is definitely over the horizon. You might decide to increase your marketability by signing up for a course of some kind, perhaps even for an advanced degree. All systems are go. Onward and upward!"

I hope all of the above is true.

I’m working my butt off to get there and am putting my faith in myself and my confidence to get me where I’m trying to go. At this point in time, it HAS to happen and I HAVE to make it work. I have way too much to lose. I’m so close to many of my goals I can almost finally taste it. One, I submitted my resignation from work last Friday (with notice, of course). I gave them three weeks to have me. That’s not all…I am also still working one last audit and plan to have it finished before my final day.  And it’s official…. I’ll be back in Saint Louis in three weeks! I still can’t believe it! The time has finally come!! I put my nose to the ground and did what I had to do. My happiness is at stake and I can’t take any more chances with that. Now I’m in the middle of the dreaded apartment search. Moving on….

There were some casualties in this war of my Pursuit of Happiness. Lost my mind a little, lost my patience, and lost my best friend/ girlfriend. She’s still my best friend, but lost the other title…at least for now. My willpower and patience ran out for us. I grew tired and angry of having the same conversations over the same problems over and over and over again. I grew tired of getting on each other’s nerves and not managing to change that. I grew tired of the promises of what was going to change, yet never did. I grew tired of being so hard on her, just to get her to do the right thing. It’s no longer my job, although it never was to begin with. Hmmm.. 

*Breathes out heavily*

My heart still hurts over it all, but I feel that it is the best thing for now. Maybe things will work out in the future. But for the time being, my focus has turned back to my goals, to school, to work, and to family. I want to get situated with the life I once had, the one where I was happy….and then work my way up to a relationship again. I hope I meet her there. That is up to the wind to decide where we go from here.  

Hopefully onward and upward.