Thank You

Things have been so weird ever since JJ left. Man, I'm already missing her ridiculously. THankfully I was able to talk to her a day or so ago. She's so funny.... her crazy ass. Ne way. I've learned so much in the past 2 1/2 months about spirituality, nonviolence, confrontations and the such. However, I didn't know that I would be able to put to use what I've learned. A few nights ago, a large group of peeps threw a BBQ on the beach, and it ended up being a very interesting night. When it comes to international college students, I expect them to come with intellectual conversations... at LEAST every once in a while, but I was very disappointed by the one i encountered that night. I met this guy named Chang while I was talking to my guy friends about different TV shows, anime, and all that good shit. Then I started talking in Spanish to my friend Farrah b/c she wanted to know how to say certain things and what they mean. Before long, I switched to Japanese and that's when Chang interrupted. He said, "YOU know japanese?" I go, "Yeah? Why would I lie about that?". THen he tried to be slick. He asked me if i knew japanese IN japanese. And in turn, I ANSWERED him in JAPANESE. "That's really FUCKING weird to hear a black person speak japanese." I said, "well, It's just gonna have to be FUCKING weird". I dropped that subject real quick. Then, I started texting my friend Golfron who is a professor here. Before long, he started texting me in Thai and it started to get confusing. I walked over to Farrah (b/c she speaks Thai) and told her to translate it for me. I heard chang say "abstinence", or at least i thought i did. So, the clarify my thought, i asked them wat they were talking about and he said, "something u problably don't know anything about". I say, "Fuckin' try me". "Ok. We were talking about abstinence." I respond with, "actually, that IS something I would know something about." He raised he glass to me and I started to walk away. However, Farrah called me back to ask me something. My Thai friend Noris, she, and I began to have this discussion about pouring out liquor for our dead indonesian, chinese, and persian homies. Noris and I always play like that. And, yes, u guessed it. He had something to say. "What the fuck! Why are u talkin' so ghetto? Are u from HarLEm!?" It got COMPLETELY quiet. I wanted to LOSE it. I calmly, but firmly asked, "what the FUCK are u talking about?" He tried to interrupt, but I just kept repeating the question. I actually said, "This isn't worth it", turned around, and walked away quietly. I was very pissed off, hurt, but proud at the same time. Everyone left the circle where Chang was sitting and followed me. I knew they felt the same way I did about that. The whole time I was thinking to myself, "Now... if i were to say some fucked up shit to him on a racial level he wouldn't be able to take that shit. One, if it were any of my FRIENDS, his head would have been in that pavement. Straight up." But i'm glad i've learned non-confrontation since I've been here, 'cause that would have been a major scene. Wow. Self control is a bitch, a double-edged sword. U know that's the right thing to do, but at the same time it feels like u're just letting it happen. However, if he crosses that line with me again, he may not be so lucky. I even have my limits of tolerance, self-control, and patience. I'm not saying i'm gonna straight beat his ass next time, but best believe that he will hear some words he will not like, AND i won't even raise my voice. Now that's what I'M talkin' about. Ah man. U know what my Chinese friend Jason left under my door? This poem he wrote about me. IT was really touching, really sweet. He said it was one night that our huge group went out and he wrote it WHILE intoxicated. Take a look.
"She is fire no lantern could contain gets around via naked cartwheels no shame until flesh laughed. fire flared. fire grabbed a hold of flesh, ripped flesh into threads wove the softest cloack and wrapped it all around only two openings showed white hot flames to consume envious eyes daring to gaze too long... fire in her new garb sways hypnotically. I chance only a few glances but I follow, her motion haunts...her danger entices." Then at the bottom, it says "Spontaneously composed on the evening of 18th Feb while highly inhibited"
Wow. When I first read this, I was taken aback. He is quite the lyricist and for the longest time he said that he had something he wanted to write, but needed inspiration. For me, it was nothing but a pleasure to find out that i was actually me. I'm humbled. THank U, Jason, for teaching me that being myself is all i need. Thank u, Thailand, for bringing the best person out of me.