Who Am I?

April Eleventh, Ninteen Eighty Six. 3:43 pm. Yep. That's when I was born. My life has been so crazy for many reasons know to those who know me, and my reasons that aren't. I was always a mischeavous child when I was younger. Always getting in trouble for something really stupid. But I didn't know any better. And still haven't learned. You know what I thought my highschool experience was initally gonna be like? I always thought I would have a lot of fun, meet new people, go out to parties, chill, have a boyfriend, be in the mix, never be at home, maybe even be nominated for homecoming queen, be into a whole lot of ex. activities,so on and so on. Then, I finally got to highschool. Reality hit. The more people I met, the more fakeness I was surrounded by. As soon as I entered the school, people didn't like me because I was new. (Is that even a possible explanation?) Well, whatever. But "it" didn't really fade me Freshman year. It was fun meeting new people, you know? I soaked in freshman year like a sponge. It went so fast. Sophmore year is just a blur. However, in those 2 years, I more or less blew off school, but somehow maintained good grades, however, I never realized the next year and a half would take me on a whirlwind experience. Junior year, somehow I got mononucleosis and strep throat. The worst semester of school I have ever had in my life. I missed so much school it was hard for me to make up any of my work. I ended up with C's in almost all of my classes that semester. However, through all of this, i was still a person satisfied and happy with my life, playing sports, making others happy by doing wat they expected out of me (not necessarily wat actually made me happy, and being okay with not being involved with ne one, and still being virgin. Life... wow. good, i guess. Now I am FINALLY in my senior year and made some major changes. I realized how much most people really suck, and when times get a little rough they're ready to hide under a rock for comfort until the storm passes. OR... if there's something they want from you, they'll definitely be in your face until they get it or realize that u don't have it. I had to stand up for myself numerous times this year, and now I understand why it's so hard to find real friends. After a few months, I stopped kidding myself and admitted that I was dropping into a depressing state. Yes, I said it. Depressed. I'm depressed and I know it. But I recently was accepted into Webster University (not saying that that's where I'm going) but it at least tells me that I don't have much longer. I can hold on until this year is over. I won't have 2 see the same people who made me regret who I am, or once was. I started being myself around anyone and everyone. I am who I am. Yeah, maybe even a little weird. But I don't want to fit the norm. Or try to. Cause I don't to begin with. I used to feel like I wasn't pretty at all. Then I got to a stage where I acknowledged the problem. Now i say to myself, what was I thinking? I am beautiful in so many ways. Not just physically, but on the inside. I am a very emotional, but very strong person. I've cried a lot this year. (I'm glad I can finally say that, too) My relationship with my parents was, and somewhat still is, killing me. For the longest, I felt that I wasn't living up to my sister's accomplishments, which added to all of the other pressures you could possibly imagine as a daughter. They didn't know how much it hurt me to keep these feelings from them. But I have come to realize that I am a good daughter and they're hard on me because that's how they were brought up. Winter break starts in tomorrow. I'm ready. Got my class ring today. (sorry, thought i would change the subject for now) It fits like a glove. I have some homework I need to do. Might even start on it soon. But I don't know. I'm anxious to write more, but this is a lot to read. Well, I might actually eat food, now that it has reached the 9 o'clock hour. I got a lot out of my system today and it took much effort for me to actually put how I feel in words. Well, maybe tomorrow will be a new beginning for me. I want to start fresh in the day. Holla.