Sitting here. Thinking about everything. Life, love, happiness, sadness, despair, misery, ecstasy, joy, and everything else in between. Man, oh man. That's what being unemployed does to you, I guess. I guess you could say I was laid off last month and since then I've been filling my time by going through my arabic, thai, and japanese books and, how shall we say, self-studying. It's much harder than I ever thought it would be. I'm no longer in the classroom. I no longer have a teacher. I no longer have peers sitting beside be, trying to comprehend the same things. I have to motivate myself to do it.
I have to make my own lesson plan. After praying and meditating on it, I guess you could say I realized that it's the same thing I have to do professionally. I somehow have to make something happen for myself and not rely on anyone else to help me with this process. I had to restore faith in myself and my capabilities. It's not always easy....or fun, either. I just don't want to struggle anymore. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being tired. Maybe being let go was the best thing for me. It forced me to try a little harder and start looking for things closer to my area of study. That's what we went to school for in the first place, right? To head in the direction of our dreams. But exactly is my dream?
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