Inny, Minny, Miney, Moe

hmmm.. all these choices, but what are the right decisions to be made? I'm tryin' to make some moves here, but I'm not sure if they're good for me or not. I never thought I would say this, but I'm seriously scared of change. Yes, I, shara, am scared! Shit. I'm scared of stepping out into a new, undiscovered world.( I don't think I've ever said that in my entire life!) I can't even tell ya'll what's goin on right now, but here's a head's up on some of what the situation entails. I'm at a crossroads. What's good? What's bad? Whose to say? Who am I to decide that? I'm only one person, whose nowhere near a saint. But, eh....
I'm staying focused here and that's both a positive and negative thing. I want so much to make things work out, but.... when u focus too much on one thing it ends up haunting your brain......... like what mine is doing right now. i can't sleep anymore. Insomnia like a motherfucker. I'm so tired. I want to sleep. All day. All night. But i can't. When I lay down, I stare blankly at the white wall and sigh. FUCK! Is something wrong with me? I've never had a problem taking chances! I've never had a problem being different and not worrying about what other people think or WILL think. I mean, shit, i got over that in highschool. I think that's why this whole situation is so ironic and stupid. I know this is very vague, but i really don't want ALL my "shit" out there right now. But, i did have to let a little of this out. It's been bottled up inside for a minute and, well, we all know what happens when someone keeps too much in them for too long. They wind up exploding and shit. Blood and guts everywhere, right? No, not really, but u get the metaphor. Hmmm.
At least school is going pretty well. Japanese and spanish is going pretty well, i guess. Everything else is pretty forgettable. That sounds bad, but that's how it's going down. I know what I need to concentrate on the most.
~ The moral of this story is: I'm struggling personally but who gives a fuck, right? I'm going to do what i gotta do to make shit happen. No matter what I have to sacrifice at this point. I'm way too independent to turn back now. I can't and i won't. Ah well.